For anyone who has ever had a newborn, you know how tough sleep can be. Are you an exhausted parent of a newborn in search of how to get your baby to sleep?
I’ve worked for years with newborns as a nurse and have had two babies of my own. In that time, I’ve discovered some newborn sleep secrets that could be really helpful for you.
Here’s some super common questions I hear parents ask all the time.
How do I get my baby to sleep better and longer? How do you get a baby to sleep without being held?
I myself have googled these questions in the middle of pure postpartum exhaustion.
I truly can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve heard my patients say they just can’t get their newborn to sleep the way the nurses are able to.
It’s almost comical how common it is for a sweet newborn bundle of joy to be soundly sleeping away in their Momma’s arms, but the second she tries to put baby down in the bassinet to get some rest herself, baby immediately starts fussing.
I also experienced this time after time with my first baby.
Another almost certain occurrence is for babies to sleep like perfect little angels during the day, and then want to party all night!
Over the years of working with newborns and having my own babies, I feel I have really nailed down how to get those nocturnal little creatures to sleep.
So let’s get down to what you came here for! Here’s 10 Newborn Sleep Secrets From A Baby Nurse and Mom of 2.
1. Swaddle
One of THE MOST common things I hear new parents say in the hospital is how they just can’t seem to get their baby swaddled as well as the nurses do. And how their baby seems to sleep so much better after the nurses do swaddle him/her.
I will be the first to tell you that properly swaddling a baby really does take A LOT of practice! Even after working with newborns for a couple years when I had my first daughter, I STILL struggled with swaddling her well.
It really can be like baby origami.
But apart from just learning and practicing how to properly swaddle your newborn, there’s also some additional tips I’ve acquired over the years that are really helpful.
- Double swaddle
- Use Velcro or even better, ZIPPERED swaddles.
- Experiment with if your baby prefers to be swaddled with their arms down or in a more “hands up” position.
Babies really do sleep better and longer when swaddled.
This is due to them having the Moro or “startle” reflex for around the first four months of life. Swaddling helps to suppress that reflex from making their limbs flail, which almost always inevitably wakes them up.
This is why if you try to lay your baby down to sleep wearing just their clothes, they typically aren’t likely to sleep long, if at all.
It may seem crazy to us that a baby would be more comfortable wrapped up like a burrito or like they’re in a straight jacket. But it’s kind of like a throw back to the womb for them.
During pregnancy, it gets to be pretty close quarters inside Mom. So having that snug fit of a swaddle or being held is comforting to babies. It feels secure to them.
2. Sound/Shush
Sound machines have been my secret weapon to get both of my babies to sleep and STAY asleep! No matter the time of day or noise level in our home.
We even use shushers and portable sound machines in our nursery at work to help newborns sleep better.
I suggest having a sound machine that has a feature of continual sound, as opposed to a timer. The reason for this is that silence sounds strange to newborns.
They’re used to hearing the sound of their mother’s heartbeat and the woosh of blood flowing through the placenta.
So if the sound being played while the infant is sleeping all of a sudden stops, the resulting silence is actually likely to cause them to wake up.
Another HUGE reason why I consider white noise to be a newborn sleep secret: It helps block out external sounds.
Maybe you have older children or animals in the home who are noisy while you’re trying to get your baby to sleep. This is definitely the situation in our home.
It’s not all that realistic for me to expect my two year old to be considerate of her baby sister’s sleep needs multiple times a day. And it’s not really fair of me to try to make her be quiet during all of those times.
I also can’t control when the neighbor is going to decide to mow their lawn. Or when my grandmother is going to drop by unexpectedly and knock on the door, resulting in the dog psychotically barking. (Anyone else? Just me??)
So sound machines have been my strategy for these common stressors by helping to drown out those external noises.
3. Movement
Newborns are used to the continual movements from floating around in the amniotic fluid during pregnancy.
If your baby just won’t seem to settle, try gently rocking, swaying, or bouncing them. You can do this while holding them, or also by using a swing.
It’s not recommended to allow your baby to sleep in a swing for long periods of time. However, they can be extremely helpful. Especially during those dreaded “witching hours” when you need to get dinner cooked or get something done.
By far, my favorite swing with my babies has been the Graco DuoGlider. It has 3 different types of movement settings you can choose from, as well as a range of speeds.
If you’re worried about your baby getting “addicted” to having movement to sleep, you can simply set your swing to a low speed. I’d also recommend only using it during those especially fussy phases.
4. Paci
Babies are born with a STRONG instinct to suck.
It’s a necessary reflex for them in order to be able to get nutrition. But sucking is also very soothing to babies. It produces endorphins in their brain and helps them to feel comforted.
This is called non-nutritive sucking and is typically done with the use of a pacifier.
Pacifiers are a pretty hot topic of debate.
Lactation consultants argue that they cause nipple confusion. Some believe that they can suppress feeding cues. People may also tell you that babies can become “addicted” to them.
But there has also been research that has concluded that pacifiers can actually reduce the risk of SIDS. So that, in addition to buying parents some much needed peace, are some major benefits.
I always tell parents to do what they feel is right for them and their baby. This goes for many, if not most, parenting topics. Not just the use of pacifiers.
One trick if you’re concerned about your baby becoming too dependent on a paci: Gently remove it from their mouth once they do fall asleep. I also would suggest to simply not offer the paci if baby is content.
I would also highly recommend using sound judgment when it comes to the frequency of pacifier use. Make sure that you aren’t using it so much that your baby is missing out on much needed feedings.
Which brings me to my next newborn sleep secret…
5. Full Feeds
Believe it or not, babies’ bodies “know” how many calories they need to take in during a 24 hour period.
Newborns need to eat, whether breastmilk or formula, around 8-12 times a day.
Breastmilk is more quickly and easily digested than formula. So if breastfeeding, you want to offer a feeding every 2 to 3 hours. If formula feeding, you can offer every 3 to 4 hours.
If a baby is going through a growth spurt or cluster feeding, you ABSOLUTELY can offer feedings more frequently. It’s all about following baby’s hunger cues over a strict schedule.
Ensuring your baby takes in enough feedings during the day will help prevent them from waking up more frequently than necessary at night to make up for any lost calorie intake.
As your baby gets older, they’ll begin to stretch how long they sleep at night (yes, it’ll happen, I PROMISE!). This means you’ll need to adjust your frequency of daytime feedings accordingly.
For example, both of my breastfed babies almost always nursed at LEAST every 2-2.5 hours during the day. This may be a bit more frequent than what some people suggest. But my babies have also thankfully always been pretty good little nighttime sleepers.
I don’t mind feeding on demand and nursing them every 2 hours during the day if it means they’re only going to wake me up once in the night to nurse.
My next newborn sleep secret…
6. Darkness… At Night
Why does my baby only want to sleep during the day??
Sound familiar? Yep, I’ve so been there too. And so have MOST parents. So know that it’s completely normal.
There’s actually a scientific explanation for why our babies are born such nocturnal little creatures.
During pregnancy, a fetus is lulled to sleep the majority of the day by its mother’s movements, voice, and the sound of her heartbeat and the woosh of blood flowing through the placenta.
When you were pregnant, did it seem like as soon as you would lay in bed and settle down to sleep for the night, THAT’S when your baby decided to start practicing for their olympic gymnastics or marshal arts routine??
That’s because baby was no longer being gently rocked and swayed to sleep within the womb anymore.
So then baby gets their dramatic eviction from the womb. And their sleep pattern is typically the
opposite of what our natural circadian rhythms are.
So what’s the solution? How do you switch your baby’s day and night confusion?
The simple answer is this: Keep your baby’s sleep area bright during the day, and keep it dark at night.
Now I’m not talking about making your baby take EVERY nap in a super brightly lit room. Or having to make it PITCH BLACK all night long.
I simply suggest to expose your baby to at least SOME light during daytime naps, natural lighting being the best. And to keep things dimly lit at night.
This will begin to help to train their little bodies to have a normal circadian rhythm. That will then allow everyone to get more sleep instead of playing the sleep all day party all night game.
7. Full Wake Windows
Going along with getting your baby to sleep more at night, it’s important to insure proper wake windows during the day.
An easy rule of thumb to go by is to try to never let your baby nap for longer than 2 hours during the day.
Yes, this may mean you have to wake a sleeping baby if they’ve been asleep for 2 hours!
Now before you let your grandma or Aunt Karen make you feel like you’re breaking some sacred rule by “waking that sleeping baby”, remind yourself (and maybe them) of this.
They aren’t the one who will have to be up with your baby at night. YOU ARE!
Therefore, like I say with most other things, DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY!
The scientific truth of this matter is that newborns typically are only able to have one “long” stretch of sleep in a 24 hour period.
Initially that stretch may only be three hours. But it’s likely to work up to about five. And then longer as they get older. Hopefully anyway!
So what would be ideal, for the sake everyone’s sleep, is if baby’s long stretch of sleep coincides with when you are also sleeping at night.
Along with not letting your baby sleep too long, you also don’t want to let them be AWAKE too long either!
In the early days this isn’t as much of a concern. Newborns are typically so sleepy during this phase that you’re more likely going to be trying to keep them awake long enough to get in a full feeding.
But around 3 weeks or so after birth, babies go through a mental growth spurt in development. This results in them becoming more aware and alert. You will begin to notice them be able to stay awake for longer stretches of time.
A good rule of thumb for the newborn phase, or the first 3 months of life, is to keep babies’ wake windows around 60-90 minutes long.
This means that if your one month old has been awake for an hour or a little longer, it’s time to go ahead and swaddle them and offer a nap.
As the weeks progress, you may see those wake windows push closer to that 90 minute range. This may also cause you to need to adjust the amount of naps your baby has during the day.
This may seem a little confusing and may have you wondering if you need to try enforcing a specific sleep and feeding schedule with your baby.
I personally always have found that any time I try to adhere to any type of strict schedule with my babies, it stresses both me and them out.
So instead I am a fan of flexible routines, NOT strict schedules.
What this looks like during the newborn phase:
- Offering a nap after baby has been awake around an hour to an hour and a half.
- Not allowing baby to nap for longer than 2 hours.
- Feeding on demand every 2-3 hours if breastfed, and every 3-4 hours if formula fed.
And again, I will repeat: DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY.
8. Warm Your Baby’s Sleep Area
This secret to newborn sleep blew my mind!
Have you ever tried transferring your baby to their own sleep space after they have fallen asleep in your arms, just to have them jolt awake and cry as soon as you lay them down?
Yep, I’m pretty sure we’ve ALL been there. It can be so exhausting! Especially when you’re TRYING to do things safely and “by the book” and trying not to cosleep.
But that can be SO. FREAKING. HARD. when you’re a beyond exhausted zombie parent of a newborn that just seems to refuse to sleep in their own bed!
A game changing solution I found to this with my first daughter was to pre-warm her bassinet or crib.
You can do this by using a heating pad to warm their bed before you lay them down. Just PLEASE be cautious in your sleep depravity not to leave the heating pad in the bed with your baby or turned on.
Here’s how I would go about doing this. While I nursed my babies before bedtime, I would simply turn on the heating pad that I used for postpartum back pain, and place it in their bed.
When I was ready to transfer my baby to her bed, I would turn the heating pad off, remove it from the bed, and gently lay her down.
They may have still stirred a little bit from the transfer from my arms to the bed, but it wasn’t nearly as startling to them as being laid down on a cold mattress sheet would have been.
So even if they woke up slightly, the warmth created from the heating pad was typically comforting enough to help them easily fall back asleep.
I’m also personally a fan of laying a baby down drowsy but awake, even in the newborn phase, to allow them to learn to fall asleep independently.
This pays off BIG TIME in the long run when it comes to infant sleep.
Which brings me to my next newborn sleep secret…
9. PRACTICE Independent Sleep From Day 1
A baby who can fall asleep independently has a much easier time STAYING asleep longer.
This is a learned skill though and takes time and practice. But if you start to lay that foundation when your baby is a newborn, it can potentially save you from having to do much sleep training later on down the road.
Getting a baby to sleep independently can be one of the biggest hurdles to overcome during the newborn phase and beyond. It’s all about the art of laying your baby down drowsy but awake.
Now obviously, babies are little humans, not robots. So we are in no way aiming for or expecting perfection here, now or ever.
It’s all about PRACTICING independent sleep during the newborn phase.
I suggest aiming for at least one nap a day being independent, meaning not held, worn, nursed, etc. I also suggest attempting for baby to fall asleep independently at the beginning of nighttime sleep.
There will inevitably be days where your baby is just not having it with falling asleep on their own. Whether it be due to a growth spurt, developmental leap, being overstimulated, you name it.
During these times, it’s easy to stress yourself out and start crying with your baby asking them “WHY WON’T YOU JUST FALL ASLEEP??” (Yes, that’s a personal example.)
But instead, try to give your baby AND YOURSELF some grace. This time is simply about practicing and setting a solid sleep foundation.
And remember, you can’t spoil a newborn baby. They literally THRIVE and survive on being held and fed and loved on.
10. Baby Wearing
And finally, if your newborn is just not having it with falling asleep independently and you have things you need to do, a baby wrap or carrier can be a life saver.
This will help baby to feel soothed and secure, while you’re still able to tend to other children or do things hands free. It can also serve as great bonding and snuggle time for both you and baby.
To wrap this up, try implementing some or all of these tried and true newborn sleep secrets with your baby:
- Swaddle
- Sound machine
- Movement
- Pacifier
- Full Feedings
- Light during the day and darkness at night
- Proper wake windows
- Warm your baby’s sleep area
- PRACTICE independent sleep
- Baby wear
I hope you find these tips helpful and that you and your baby can start getting some much needed rest.
I know the newborn/postpartum phase can be utterly exhausting. But hang in there, Momma. Your baby WILL sleep better eventually, and so will you.
Save this post on Pinterest or in the notes section of your phone to revisit during those trying, tiring times of getting your baby to sleep. Also please share this with any new or expecting parents you may know.
Thank you so much for stopping by the blog!